Sent in by Sam, from an intensive driving school covering most of the UK.
I’d just picked up a new pupil for an assessment for an intensive course. She was very bubbly and enthusiastic but had clearly never driven before. After talking her through the basics she started to chat away, and this is the resulting conversation.
Pupil: Oh, I hope I get better quickly! I really need to pass first time!
Me: Don’t worry, just relax, you’ll get the hang of it soon.
Pupil: I need to pass first time because I’m going to Australia in two weeks.
(The car stalls again)
Me: Ok, handbrake on.. I’m not sure you’ll be able to pass in that time, but don’t worry, we can schedule you in for a course and test when you get home.
Pupil: No! I need to pass BEFORE I go, because we’ve booked a driving holiday!
Me: Right… who are you going with?
Pupil: My boyfriend.
Me: Ok, good – so he can drive, can he?
Pupil: No, we were hoping that once I’d had an assessment lesson, you could give him one too.
Me: … Right. How long have you known that you were going to drive around Australia?
Pupil: We’ve been saving up for it for about two years!
Me: And it only ocurred to you to learn to drive TWO WEEKS before you leave?!