This was sent in by Amanda from a driving school in Folkestone, Kent
I used to work for a driving school – not as an instructor, but answering the phones. I really hope this guy isn’t out on the roads – if so, I’m staying inside.
Me: Good afternoon, can I help you?
Customer: Yeah, I wonder if you can help me, what it is, yeah, is that I need a driving test. Do you do driving tests?
Me: We do driving lessons, to prepare you for your test…
Customer: Nah nah nah. Driving tests.
Me: We give driving lessons that lead to a driving test, is that what you mean?
Customer: Yeah. I’ve got my test booked on Saturday.
Me: Ah. In that case then I don’t think we can help. Our instructors are usually booked up at least a week in advance, and very rarely can do just a test at such short notice. Especially not on a Saturday, I’m sorry.
Customer: Can you see about cancellations?”
Me: I will, but the odds of an instructor in the area you’ve booked your test having a pupil cancel at the exact time you’ve booked your test are not in your favour, I’m afraid…
Customer: Can you just check, yeah?
Me: Ok, whereabouts is your test booked?
Customer: In Kent.
Me: Where in Kent?
Customer: I don’t know!
Me: You’ve got a test booked on Saturday and you don’t know where?
Customer: Can you find out for me?
Me: No, I’m afraid I don’t have access to that sort of information.
Customer: Well, it’s in Kent.
Me: I can’t help you if you don’t know where your test is booked.
Customer: Does it matter? It’s in Kent!
Me: Look, if you’re going to take your test on Saturday, you need to know where it is.
Customer: This is f***ing ridiculous!
Me: Yes, it is. Do you actually know how big Kent is?
Me: It’s a county - about three or four times the size of London.
Customer: … Oh. I’ll call back.